After all this time of studying the Course, I’m still not real clear on what forgiveness really is.
A: When you take a minute or two to think differently about your judgment of another person, as you describe in your question, you have begun the forgiveness process, “A light has entered the darkness” (M.1.1:4). The first step is being willing to admit that we are wrong in our evaluation, and that there is another way of looking at the person.
The next steps are being willing to let go of the original judgment, ask for another way of perceiving, and accept the new perception when it comes to you. This does not mean that you will no longer see people do foolish things. It means that you will not confuse the person’s true identity with the foolish behavior, nor condemn him for it, nor consider it a “sin.” People do and say foolish things; that is a fact. There are then two interpretations: one according to the ego, which says this foolish behavior makes this person a “jerk”; the other according to the Holy Spirit (forgiveness), which says the foolish behavior does not change the real fact that this person is not a “sinner,” and does not deserve my condemnation.
This applies as well to the judgment against yourself. We might say that calling another person a “jerk” is foolish behavior. This does not mean you are a sinner deserving of punishment, but that you have made a mistake, and are in need of a new perception, a correction, forgiveness. The guilt that seems to be at the end of the process, after judging a person as a “jerk,” was actually already present in the mind prior to the “attack.” The guilt was projected out to the “jerk” in the form of the judgment, which then seems to cause the guilt. This is an example of the Course teaching:
“Ideas leave not their source, and their effects but seem to be apart from them. Ideas are of the mind. What is projected out, and seems to be external to the mind, is not outside at all, but an effect of what is in, and has not left its source” (T.26.VII.4:7,8,9).
The origin of the process is a thought of separation in the mind, followed by a judgment against yourself for the thought, and guilt for having thought it. The guilt is then projected out to someone else in the form of an attack, and it then returns to the mind in the form of guilt for the attack. This is the circular thinking of the ego’s game of guilt. Forgiveness asks that we recognize the original thought, and accept responsibility for the process. The way to forgive yourself for the original thought of separation is to offer forgiveness to the “jerk” by seeing him as no different from yourself; i.e., being in need of healing and of correction, and no different in his true identity as a holy Son of God:
“Let not the form of his mistakes keep you from him whose holiness is yours. Let not the vision of his holiness, the sight of which would show you your forgiveness, be kept from you by what the body’s eyes can see. Let your awareness of your brother not be blocked by your perception of his sins and of his body. What is there in him that you would attack except what you associate with his body, which you believe can sin? Beyond his errors is his holiness and your salvation. You gave him not his holiness, but tried to see your sins in him to save yourself. And yet, his holiness is your forgiveness” (T.22.III.8:1,2,3,4,5,6,7).
Excerpt taken from www.facim.org
Mary Bobokis – Holistic Counsellor
More info www.marybobokis.com
Mary Bobokis is a Holistic Counsellor & Energy Healer who focusses on teaching people how to reduce stress, worrying & anxiety and eliminating the thoughts and feelings that cause them. Based in the Illawarra region, south coast of NSW, Australia, Mary works face to face and via Skype.